It Happened

I finally did it. I finally (don't ask) got a Virginia Drivers License. I entered the DMV at 4:57pm. I was given Number A98. Window A was at Number 68. I found a comfy plastic chair to wait it out. I fell asleep. I was woken up by a guard, "m'am, m'am..." Window A was at Number 87. I fell asleep again. Number A98 was finally called. I went up to the counter. A very crabby lady requested my paperwork. I spread my life in front of her:

• birth certificate (1st proof of identity)
• passport (2nd proof of identity)
• unexpired drivers license (in lieu of...sigh...copy of your driving record)
• utility bill (proof of address)
• social security card (3rd proof of identity)

And, just for good measure, I brought along my original mortgage papers, pay stub (especially mailed by HR), another utility bill, credit card statement, my mom and dad, my 3rd grade teacher Mrs Gilroy (or was it Gilman?)...turns out you need less paperwork to buy a house than successfully apply for drivers license (which may explain something about the state of our economy).

But I digress: crabby lady. She complained to me that her shift ended an hour ago. I empathized, "oh so sad" (never anger a government bureaucrat). She fussed, sorted papers, fussed some more. Finally, she told me to sit down in front of the camera. I smiled. She took my photo. She then told me that I couldn't show teeth. She retook my picture. At 6:02pm I left the DMV. The very last person.


And this is how I ended up with a VA drivers license that seconds as a mug shot.