Lessons Learned at Universal Studios

Anna and I went to Universal Studios. I learned a few things that I'd like to share with you:

• If you have a handicapped tag bring it.  If you don't have one, break someone's leg to get one.
• The sadder you are at cusomer service, the more freebies they'll give you to preserve their brand value.  Don't feel bad about it ... milk the guilt for *all* it's worth.
• Do not wander into any stores.  None.  They are designed to confuse, stun and lure you into emptying your wallets.  If you do, you will soon find yourself at the cash register considering the purchase of a "Thing 1/Thing 2" Dr. Seuss-style wig (ok ok and other wigs).  For $25.00.

• Do not get dehydrated.  If you do, don't just drink water.  If you do, do not get on roller coasters if you aren't feeling well.  If you do, you will find yourself puking all over the ramp leading out of the "The Mummy" ride.  (And by "you", I mean Anna.)
• If you drink an orange flavored icee, your puke will be a phenomenally colored florescent orange.
• If you puke all over, do not wait for the clean-up crew. Wipe your face and keep moving.  In an unfortunately random sample size of two puke sites, we were left to our own devices for an uncomfortably long amount of time as other guests walked by saying, "ohhh gross" (yes, yes it is ... thank you for pointing that out).  And, unfortunately for those around us, the puke was also left to its own devices when we finally abandoned site.
• At the end of each ride there is a sign that says, "child swap".  I think it's for parents to swap kids so that both can ride...but I also think that there were others in the park who hoped for larger designs behind that sign.  One can always dream, right?
• ET is still freaky as hell 25 years later.
• Never. Ever. Never. Go anywhere near that place during the summer.  It was insanely crowded enough in May.  I can't imagine.  I'm surprised it hasn't been featured on "20/20" Top 10 Murder Sites.
• But the most important lesson of all - roller coaster are as much fun as you remember them.  Screaming your head off as loud as the grown man ahead of you really is a really good time.