The Art of Seduction, or Possibly Just Companionable Friendship

Last week my colleague – a 30-something, single Americanized Bangladeshi male – had an interesting experience. One of our senior client counterparts, Abdul Rahman, grabbed his hand as they walked down the Judicial Department hallway. Now around these parts this is pretty normal – men hold hands, walk arm in arm and are generally pretty affectionate with each other. But around our parts, it’s not so normal. So, Hameed found himself in an interesting predicament. Not wanting to offend, he continued to hold hands. But should he squeeze a little more to say, “hey, I’m down with this and you”? Or should he leave his hand in a non-committal limp fish form within Abdul Rahman’s hand because, frankly, he didn’t really want to hold hands with 60+ year old Client supervisor?

To further complicate the situation, Abdul Rahman interlaced his fingers with Hameed’s. Which begged the question, were they now in a relationship? Did this signify some sort of extra special acceptance? Was Hameed now required to always hold hands with Abdul Rahman? And if he were to drop Abdul Rahman's hand, would they have an awkward moment over the copy machine the next day? As you can imagine, it was a lively lunchtime debate that day.

Questions we all face at one point or another. To handhold or not? To interlace fingers or not? To pull your hand and run away as fast as you can? See, so maybe things aren't so different here afterall.